Krallice “Krallice” (2008)

Profound Lore Records are quite well-known by now for releasing some of the most daring bands in experimental metal, so I kinda met up with Barr and his delightful organ to challenge Pitchfork’s highly superficial Show No Mercy covering of Krallice. House columnist Brandon Stosuy opted for such a radical mental u-turn twisting, that he in the end ignored the very nature of the band. Krallice is much more than the sum of its three members, namely gentlemen Barr, Marston & Weinstein. It is what I consider to be orgiastic in their music which will be scrutinized within this review.

As far as I don’t know, this might not be a dialogue between Mick Barr and his penis. Only future history will tell. However our website is confused, or isn’t it, and had I not taken notice, I wouldn’t have been who I only am one night out of three, I mean a writing sleepwalker. Good night, boys and girls. – Place au Cinéma !

Mick Barr. Man, don’t you remember Satanic Art, most notably Traces of Reality? Does that song even ring a cock bell? Have you at least read Herr Tentakel’s appreciation of it? Now, can you remember that ending riff, you know, the one which blew all of our minds back then! Crazy how it moved around so fast and so detailed; overwhelming how it was a perfectly round up grandiose harmony; hypnotizing how it grew crazy-black-melodious and indus-thrash-malicious altogether. I would say, as an analogy, that Krallice picked up that feeling and expanded it forward.

Milky Dick. Not without my very own erotising menace indeed (smiles). All powerful metal is testosterone-inducing, who could ever deny such an obvious fact? Up to this day, only parents and medias weren’t told.

Mick Barr. Well, any guitarist can deny it, whenever he’s showing off how conventional, fearful and uninspired he truly is.

Milky Dick. As your penis, I never think of conventional, fearful and uninspired guitarists, but only of the ones able to produce that so-called drone effect.

Mick Barr. What do you mean, “that so-called drone effect”?

Milky Dick. A drone, according to The Free Dictionary, is “a male bee, especially a honeybee whose only function is to fertilize the queen. Drones have no stingers, do no work, and do not produce honey.” And in Krallice, I know this is exactly what you’re up to – you’re not working, you’re not producing honey for others – you’re instead getting a hard-on every time you fucking riff back and forth.

Mick Barr. I kind of already knew that! (laughs)

Milky Dick. Sure, but some of your fans aren’t aware of that yet. One of them even pretended that Weakling did in 2000 what we’re doing with Krallice eight years later. Just for the records: I NEVER get a hard-on listening to Weakling, which we should rather see as another slinder weak ling. Such a turnoff!

Mick Barr. (laughs) Who knows… maybe you’re right. I wouldn’t know for sure. It’s like every once in a while, a fan comes up to me after a concert, his eyes shining through, his smile so fascinated, and as I always say, Venus then mingles our minds for a few seconds. So I also get your drift, or am I drifting away? I don’t know.

Milky Dick. Listen to me. You inspire them to head bang at night because head banging is like cock banging but more mental, and both are equally irresistible for every riff machine alive. That’s what our Wretched Wisdom implies, after all. Others will lay down in their beds and levitate for hours while listening to Krallice, not realizing how levitation itself is dependent upon the sexual fluids and energies running through the body nerves, thus allowing them to go out of their minds. Everything, about droning Black metal, in essence is erotic and mind-expanding. That’s what psychedelism is all about, right.

Mick Barr. Right! Is this also why we decided to name one of our Krallice songs – Energy Chasms?

Milky Dick. You don’t have to know everything. Mystery is the primordial element Krallice grows veiled into. The most mysterious of the lot is always the most attracting one. Less is more. What we’ve never experienced leads our daily experience of life towards more than life itself. Music evolves through all senses of the worlds. Krallice is therefore always more, always further, always deeper. Its a singular penetration inside the black unknown. Its an avant-garde motion, carrying from the past as much as the future will contain. Metal at its most spectacular and droning. Does that make any sense at all?

Mick Barr. I’m not sure, but your words sound sacred to me anyway! I think we should compose another Krallice album sooner or later. I need it more than anything else. Yeah, you said it earlier on: its irresistible.

Milky Dick. The question is: will you let me do my job?

Mick Barr. What about Marston & Weinstein?

Milky Dick. They’ve always been mine.

Mick Barr. We’ve always been yours.

Milky Dick. I am Krallice.

Mick Barr. We are.

-Oliver Side


Release:  2008
Label:  Profound Lore Records
Avantgenre:  Orgiastic Metal Pleasure
Duration:  1:01:39
Origin:  USoA
Official site:
Review online since:  15.08.2008 / 01:22:24


01 – Wretched Wisdom
02 – Cnestorial
03 – Molec Codicies
04 – Timehusk
05 – Energy Chasms
06 – Forgiveness In Rot

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